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Negative energy- relationships

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Negative energy continues to live and breathe daily in all walks of life.

It is hard to get away from however, we can choose to absorb it or release it.  Clear ourselves of it, breath deep and let it go.

Complaining, listening to complaints (not problems) anger, frustration, etc. only perpetuates the negative energy.  Dark cannot live in light.   And complaining about your relationship is a huge magnet for a negative virus.

This is true of relationship of all sorts, love work, children and complaining about ourselves.  Now we all know venting for a bit is natural so realize I am talking about the constant negativity where we are not looking for a solution but the “if only they would” , “I told him==”  “he just doesn’t get it”  do you?.

In a relationship one of the things we are prone to do is to complain about our mates to our friends, strangers, anyone that listens.  Do we feel this makes us look better?  Kind of a martyr?  If it is that bad==leave.

But many complaints are out of habit and sometime we even feel, humor.   It is natural but we need to learn when it is founded, fun, or perpetuating more unrest and unhappiness in the relationship itself.  Choosing a “negative” and giving it so much energy allows it to grow and fester.  And also when it is fear based.

How many  times do we ever sit and tell our friends over a glass of wine or coffee, all the good things about our partner?  Try it!  You will be amazed at how dumbfounded people will be but above all, you will be astounded at how many good things there are about them!!  And you.

If by chance not, then is it time to review the relationship.

One of the biggest causes of negative energy is fear.  Fear and negative energy grow in your thoughts and create an anger.    Anger is a result of a feeling–shame, fear, to name a few.  It is said–the higher the anger, the lower the self-esteem.     Are we belittling to try to make us seem better?  Do we not feel we deserve a good person?   Are we afraid we must answer up?  Our own lives should be filled with other things to talk about.

When we are in a relationship, it is important to remember to praise both to them and to others.  You will find it makes you feel better, it hopefully makes you want to be better to bring out the best in them.  I repeat, it makes you want to be better to bring out the best in them.  Not badger, complain, whine,  if there is an issue, address it as it comes and be done with it.   Start with “I”  ie –when this happens “I” feel yada yada.

Now I am not saying be a doormat, all relationship have problems.  And some just aren’t meant to be or continue.  But a relationship is work, respect, growth.  Not everyone is right for us but may be for someone else.  It is not winning or failing, it is about learning and loving.  Do not fear “not having” it breeds desperation, control, and do not fear giving a compliment without expecting one in return.  Truly “give” it.

Times have changed with all the social media , I am constantly told –I talked to someone on-line, is he the one? cause if not I do not want to waste my time…….gee I don’t know, sounds like you have already kicked off the “hello” expecting (with a fear of) it failing.   Doesn’t say much for your confidence.  Do you really want to start with the fear of failing? or look at it as a new opportunity?  Ask what can we do to enhance each others lives?

Let’s not set our partners and ourselves up to fail from the very beginning.  Let’s put little baby steps in front of both of us to step up to.  Little goals to work on along the way, not let it build because of our fear to speak.   Or sacrifice our self-esteem and feelings for fear of not having someone.   This builds resentment and anger and with that all the negativity breeds.


So for one day, whenever you talk about your person–say only the good things about them.  You will both feel better and the light will shine.




There is a movie called the “Time Traveler”  it is a father and son who can travel back in time.  At the end when the father is dying he tells the son the secret to a positive attitude—-live your day, then at night go back to morning and relive it with a different attitude, you can see how it changes all around you.”  Soon you will learn to not let little things bother you  or to look at them with a different attitude.–


As an exercise, with your partner——sit across from them holding hands,  do not talk.  Just look at each other for 3 to 5 min.  and think of all the things you liked about each other in the beginning.   The times you laughed the hardest.   Then when done write some of them down and read them to each other.  It is amazing what we forget when we get caught up in the everyday chaos of life.


To remove the fear of “not having” be it partner, money or chocolate

In the release cycle of the moon–full to new


Light a white candle and then a red candle and give it all your fear


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